When people sniff out that you have money, you become a target for those who are borrowing money from everyone. Most of the time, these people are relatives, friends or co-workers.
But how do you tell them no? If you don’t want to give it to the needy, if you don’t trust your kid / brother / colleague to give it back, you will be all but a good person.
I’ve already written why you should never (almost) lend to anyone close to you. Simply put, because you have a good chance of not being refunded, it will very poison your relationship. However, it is not worth losing a relative or friend for $ 50 or $ 100.
Finances within the family
If you think you are going to get the loan back, you may want to read the survey. Only in half of the cases was the money repaid in full and only 45% of the lenders thought that there was no strain on their relationship with borrowing money. There is likely to be a large overlap between the amount repaid and the stress relief. Also read the article on this.
About friendly loans
So the big question is how do you say no to such requests.
The first and foremost thing is determination and clarity. Do not hesitate, do not say that you are still thinking or recalculating if you can give. It’s just oil on fire. Feel free to declare that you will not give up, so you will avoid any further attempts.
You don’t have to justify, or even go into it, because you only provide an attack surface. “Now I can’t give because”. The answer to that is, but if this and that, then you can only lose that money. Maybe you can give it next month? And so on. It’s not a debate, it’s not a joint decision, you don’t have to convince the other with reason , it’s best not to go into such a defense.
Make it a principle that you never give a loan to anyone
If you refer to it, the money seekers will sooner or later realize that you are really serious about it and that they are coming off of you.
Maybe tell me how interesting you just wanted to borrow from someone and thought you were asking for it. After that, how could he be angry with you if you didn’t give, just as he didn’t give you.
Suggest her alternatives. You can’t give it, but you’ve just seen a Provident ad on TV, they lend you money for weeks. Offer to find their phone number on the net. But they can even give you a loan at the bank within one hour if your payment arrives. (Yeah, the bank doesn’t even give it a loan, which lives on to get everyone’s credit on it? Well, that’s a warning sign as to why you shouldn’t give money.)
Use the jammed disk tactic if necessary
You give him the truth, but not. Yes, that’s right, but I can’t give it. You are probably right, but you are not. And so on, like a stuck turntable that always repeats that it doesn’t.
If you have to, you can refer to another person who wouldn’t give you if you wanted to. For example, my husband and I vowed never to lend to anyone.
It is very important that you have no remorse. First of all, you have the right to say no and feel free to exercise that right. You’re not an insensitive, rock-heart, shrunken figure, just because you don’t help a man who gets himself into trouble. You spend too much, buy too big a home, or make too little money for your needs, or maybe take no responsibility for your financial decisions.